Friday, 16 May 2014

Editing Myself.



Over the past few months there seems to have been some sort of wide spread epiphany regarding the negative sides to blogging and social media in general. 

It's the thing we love to hate but can't live without, selfies with a valencia filter complete with the perfect tagline and #hashtag. 

I too can hold my hands up and be like 'yep, guilty'. 

And recently It's got me thinking, how much of ourselves do we actually edit online? 



There have been countless times in the past where I've gone to write a tweet and retracted it at the last minute because of what people might think, There's not a single selfie I post without a filter because I lack serious confidence in my appearance. I even read back some of my blog posts and don't recognise myself because I think,

 'This just doesn't sound like me '. 



Sure I do love make up and fashion and all things girly, I'm in no way fake about any of that..  But I also swear like a trooper, I occasionally get obscenely pissed, my room is messy and disorganised 80% of the time, in fact my whole life is pretty messy and disorganised 80% of the time and my bank account is constantly struggling to stay above the dreaded DR.  


Sometimes I just feel that the reality of my life doesn't truly align with my 'online' self. I don't know whether this is because I feel there is a certain expectation of how I should be, or whether its because I'm comparing myself to other bloggers, or even If its some strange sort of anxiety. 


But then I think, 

'well surely it's the reality that counts, I don't need to document all of my life on here? 



The people I am close to, my family, my friends, Jay.. They all know me, the real life 3D me, the #nofilter me. 
It doesn't make me a fraud for holding back on some of the finer details of my life, maybe that's just my way of keeping it for myself?


One of my biggest flaws is definitely caring too much about what other people think, and perhaps its that anxiety that has led me to writing this post. I was nervous about even starting a blog in the first place because I thought people would take the piss out of me and there are undoubtedly a select few that read this blog and think to themselves,


 'What a load of toss '... 

or

 'Ashlee is nothing like this '.. 



I'd be lying if I were to say that doesn't bother me, because it does. Evidently

But the fact is social media, is very much anti-social. I can't possibly illustrate every dimension of my personality on here, and I'm not sure I'd even want to. And try as I may to put some of myself on here, it would be very difficult to get to know me via a blog. I'm a real person and every day I'm different. 


I guess I just don't want anyone to be under some sort of illusion.




Does anyone else feel this way about blogging or social media? Do you find yourself editing areas of your life online? Or on the opposite end of the scale do you think you are completely yourself when It comes to social media? Do you give zero fucks?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. 


Thanks for reading my recent pondering, 


Ash xx





6 comments:

  1. thank you for sharing this. I've been feeling a little overwhelmed lately especially as a new blogger. This has helped a lot in reminding me not to lose myself in the process. will be looking forward to your other posts :)

    xoalyy.blogspot.com

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  2. Thanks, haha.. Yeah I've not exactly been doing this very long so I guess there are those who do this that have been way more affected by it than I have. But I still think it's important with social media in general to not feel self conscious.. but at the same time you don't need to document every waking moment of your life. Unless of course, you are getting paid by youtube haha..

    Thanks for reading xxx

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  3. I love this post, very well written and so relatable. I like to think I am my total self over social media. A little too much perhaps... I often write very controversial tweets and once I've posted them, I can't help but think I probably shouldn't have!

    On the other hand, with my blog I can totally relate to the "I guess I just don't want anyone to be under some sort of illusion." bit. I feel like because I don't really ever write personal stuff on my blog, I don't want people to think my life is all happy days filled with clothes and OOTD's (A big part of it is, I may add!). I always have a little niggling feeling telling myself I need to write something relevant and personal to personify my blog, which lead me to writing my struggle with depression. It felt pretty good to get something out, and the huge amount of support I got from it was magical. Despite this, I do still believe we shouldn't put our entire lives on the internet, some things should be kept in the real world :)

    Samantha | Nashbag

    xoxoxo

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! I loved that post you did! It's so inspiring when someone talks about those kinds of things cause its often something that's ignored in society... Sometimes its good to get stuff out there, like you did.. but on the other hand you don't want to put your whole life online for the world to know, like facebook jeremy kyle or something.('Post Title: I'm not sure who the dad is')... I think I just get paranoid that some of my friends read it and are like 'What is she on about' haha.. I'm glad other people feel this way and it's not just me.. I think it's so easy for people to just think they know someone because they read their blog and that's all their life consists of. I wish my life was free makeup and posing around in swanky outfits all the time!. xxxx

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  4. I enjoyed reading your thoughts! I hardly edit my photos that much since when I was younger, let say during my teenage time, i edited a lot and I just didn't feel like myself. I think social media can be both good and bad, but I'm sure there can be something good about it :) xx

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  5. Thanks for reading hun, I agree.. I mainly restrict it for keeping in touch with some people, tweeting and for my blog.

    I think its easy to get caught up in it sometimes

    Ash xx

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