Over the past few months there seems to have been some sort of wide spread epiphany regarding the negative sides to blogging and social media in general.
It's the thing we love to hate but can't live without, selfies with a valencia filter complete with the perfect tagline and #hashtag.
I too can hold my hands up and be like 'yep, guilty'.
And recently It's got me thinking, how much of ourselves do we actually edit online?
There have been countless times in the past where I've gone to write a tweet and retracted it at the last minute because of what people might think, There's not a single selfie I post without a filter because I lack serious confidence in my appearance. I even read back some of my blog posts and don't recognise myself because I think,
'This just doesn't sound like me '.
Sure I do love make up and fashion and all things girly, I'm in no way fake about any of that.. But I also swear like a trooper, I occasionally get obscenely pissed, my room is messy and disorganised 80% of the time, in fact my whole life is pretty messy and disorganised 80% of the time and my bank account is constantly struggling to stay above the dreaded DR.
Sometimes I just feel that the reality of my life doesn't truly align with my 'online' self. I don't know whether this is because I feel there is a certain expectation of how I should be, or whether its because I'm comparing myself to other bloggers, or even If its some strange sort of anxiety.
But then I think,
'well surely it's the reality that counts, I don't need to document all of my life on here? '
The people I am close to, my family, my friends, Jay.. They all know me, the real life 3D me, the #nofilter me.
It doesn't make me a fraud for holding back on some of the finer details of my life, maybe that's just my way of keeping it for myself?
One of my biggest flaws is definitely caring too much about what other people think, and perhaps its that anxiety that has led me to writing this post. I was nervous about even starting a blog in the first place because I thought people would take the piss out of me and there are undoubtedly a select few that read this blog and think to themselves,
'What a load of toss '...
'Ashlee is nothing like this '..
I'd be lying if I were to say that doesn't bother me, because it does. Evidently.
But the fact is social media, is very much anti-social. I can't possibly illustrate every dimension of my personality on here, and I'm not sure I'd even want to. And try as I may to put some of myself on here, it would be very difficult to get to know me via a blog. I'm a real person and every day I'm different.
I guess I just don't want anyone to be under some sort of illusion.
Does anyone else feel this way about blogging or social media? Do you find yourself editing areas of your life online? Or on the opposite end of the scale do you think you are completely yourself when It comes to social media? Do you give zero fucks?
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Thanks for reading my recent pondering,